Using The "Microphone".

Voice out that thought.

Apr 30, 2023

Heyyyyyyy. It's been quite a while. I'm sorry I haven't been as consistent as expected, I've just been occupied and distracted. I'm not promising a good comeback though but I'd put in effort to be more consistent.

With that out of my mind, here's what's up.

I've always had this problem with expressing exactly how I feel to people (directly). Very few persons know this and to the rest, this is probably sounding like some sort of "capping" but it's true.

It has become a habit of mine that I really want to drop off– and that's exactly the reason I'm putting this out here.

Putting this out here is a step to me speaking out, it's another step to me to me regaining that reduced confidence.

I've had discussions where I'd say or murmur something and then the person I'm talking to would say "Sorry, what did you say?" and I'd come up replying "Nothing" or "Nevermind". It's unhealthy and kind of annoying, I know and I'm sorry.

Most times, it's not like I don't have a reply, I usually do, infact I can be a bit of a talkative (mostly in my head and to my family, ofcourse😂), so yeah I always have things to say.

I'm graced to have had some exposure, and by that, I mean the relationships and friendships I have right now have made me see how toxic it is.

That has made me conduct a minor self evaluation. I've given this whole thing much thought, and I have come to the conclusion that this impulsive toxic reply is as a result of speech bullying, basically.

I can remember being told that I talk too much. Also I've had a few people criticize how I speak plus I think I've witnessed too many speech criticism/intimidation.

I'm not saying I grew up in an overly toxic environment, what this is, is just the result of oral carelessness.

All in all, I have come to the realization that if I say whatever I have in mind, nobody will carry cane to beat me. LOL. And I really can't tell what opportunity I might miss by just keeping those words in my mouth.

So dear self, it's time for you to be vocal, speak up more and share that thought - that reasonable thought though.

Aggy’s Hwyl

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